While I wait..

I Wait for you,

As you stand in the middle of a crossing and scream in your head on how you have lost me. How your small little personal world has fallen. It's withering.Crumbled.

Do I make you wonder? Do I make sense to your definition of Alive and living.

Oh how you have let it all slip. Slowly.

You went on to "live" didn't you?

Did you find it? Whatever that you were looking or searching for?

I Wait for you,

As you run your hands through your hair imagining a world without my hand to hold.

Eyes going bezerk. Questioning.

Oh God how dreadful of a life.

I Wait for you, 

As I want to see the price you pay, with your life.

I Wait for you,

As I want to see you get drunk on madness.Gently Falling, to my knees.

Fear of how much aching the further days will just add on to your misery.

And how you will try to fill them with words and music and places

But every nerve ending under your skin knows that nothing will amount to anything to the time when you had me.

As crows squeak over you and ask-

Is it everything? Are you okay?

Why are you behaving like a mad man?

I'd like to see you weep and not cry and crutch your heart and confess how much it pains.

How much hurt you carry for the both of us. How deep the wound is. 

How much of alone you feel all at once. 

Alive and Dying.

Tell me honey, is that how much you love me? Tell me.

Tell me, is it Wrong? Am I asking too much? Am I walking on delusion?

What is with this "Love" that makes me wanna see you in pain and take it all away in a heartbeat?

What is this hideous cruelty to want to watch you running to be saved.

What is this "Love" that makes me want to cradle you back in your sleep. Singing of beautiful things.

How much more pain will bring you back?

Could I be the one to save you?

Could I be your punisher?

Could I be your everything, in this harsher than harsh world.

Could I ruin you and build you beautiful once again?

Because

This is the truth I wanna lead you in.

This is all I know.

~MercyJade